


Oh what I'd give for just another hug from you

by Troublestarter12



Series: Voltron Ships [Almost always Klance or Shatt] [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, But Satan has needs too, Death, Depression, If you don't agree fight me, Inspired by a line from a SIO song, Keith is a Mess, M/M, My poor boys need help, Oblivious Idiot, Pining, Regret, Shiro is Keith's adoptive brother, Sorry for your tears, Space Dad Shiro, happy endings are for the weak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-04 23:24:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14031129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Troublestarter12/pseuds/Troublestarter12
Summary: It began softly, so soft and quiet he almost didn't realize it. If he hadn't been searching for it he would have never known. It ended blaring, so loud the rumble could still be felt in his chest even now. If he had closed his eyes he would have missed it. Had he turned around that day maybe he wouldn't have become the human wreckage he sees every time he looks into a mirror.





	Oh what I'd give for just another hug from you

"Someone asked me if I knew you. A million and one memories flashed through my mind but I only smiled, smaller than the one in all those memories, and whispered I used to."

 

It began softly, so soft and quiet he almost didn't realize it. If he hadn't been searching for it he would have never known. It ended blaring, so loud the rumble could still be felt in his chest even now. If he had closed his eyes he would have missed it. Had he turned around that day maybe he wouldn't have become the human wreckage he sees every time he looks into a mirror. 

His hands tremble with every shaking breath he takes. His lungs feel heavy like someone had him inhale wet cement rather than oxygen. His hair is wild and unkept; he doesn't feel any need to try to fix it anymore. His throat threatens to let the sobs escape but he seals his lips and keeps the signing inside. 

He takes a chance and dares to look in the mirror where a stranger stares back. The stranger looks more dead than alive; a corpse brought back to life or a person just barely hanging on. He couldn't tell anymore.

The first time Keith saw him was back at the Garrison. He had heard of a cargo pilot that thought he was the best around. He couldn't help but try to get a glimpse of the poor soul. He was cocky back then in a way that made him appear like an egotistical jackass. It wasn't until the damn idiot compromised his rescue mission did he ever actually meet the boy.

Lance McClain lived up to his reputation in that moment. Keith tried not to listen to rumors and gossip but he had heard all the things said of the Cuban boy. He was jealous, arrogant, and completely ignorant of the fool he was making of himself. That Lance wasn't a hero but rather a try hard teen. 

It wasn't until the castle had been infiltrated that Lance became a hero. He saved Coran's life and shot the Galra after coming out of an inflicted coma. Keith had held Lance in his arms and realized that the boy was braver than most at the Garrison could even dream of being. 

When they put Lance into the cryopod was when he felt it. The first flutter of something more. It began as nothing. He felt normal up huntil he looked into the cryopod. He felt the moment his thoughts changed and his heart began to embrace the idea. It was soft and almost not even there but he knew. He had fallen within a matter of ticks for the boy made of ocean mist and valiant actions. 

He remembers how his heart cracked when Lance didn't recall their bonding moment. He grew cold towards the Blue paladin for forgetting something so life changing for him. He hated how Lance naturally flirted with any girl that breathed. He hates how Lance still kept Keith at a distance and continued the rivalry that shouldn't have been in the first place. Most of all he hates how he fell for someone that never would reciprocate the same feelings.

 

All the moments inbetween become blurry as his head spins. He slams his palm down against the bathroom conuter as hard as his migraine pounds against his temples. His hair falls in front of his eyes shielding the sight of a broken man from his view. He chuckles darkly as his knees give out and he falls to the cold floor. For maybe he always was this broken man but back then he had a mask to hide behind. 

His heart aches as he remembers Lance making a snide mullet comment towards his mother, Krolia, and how fast she had told him to keep this one safe. How the two had bonded over the stories they had of Earth, family, and Keith. She even helped him with his swordsmanship. She would wink every time the two stood next to each other. He still believes Pidge and her were working together to cause his life more strife than needed. 

 

However his favorite was when Lance had bolted into his room just past 2 am. He recalls how the paladin rushed through his explanation only to stop halfway through. He smiled shyly, something Keith thought was impossible, and told him the truth. 

"I wanted to tell you years ago. Back when we were still rivals. I do remember the bonding moment. I remember how you had that damn soft smile and the way your eyes gleamed," Lance looked into his eyes,"And I remember the way my heart had skipped a beat. Keith, man, you have to understand why I kept that from you. If it wasn't for the fact K and Pidge threatened me just now I probably would have left the words unspoken." 

Keith had lost his stoic not-really-caring act at the confession and took 3 strides to break the space between them. He confessed to Lance underneath the Azurio Moon's glow and took a leap riskier than any mission he ever went on; he kissed the boy who stole his heart and made it his own. As the light of the moon surrounded them from the window their hearts synced up. Their hearts beat in time to each other and they surged with love. In a room on the other side of the castle one Galra mother and the green paladin high-fived for another job well done.

 

He hears someone call his name but he's too tired to care. Knocking continues until eventually the door is broken down. Keith doesn't even have to look to know the face the older man was making. Shiro would have his eyebrows threaded and eyes turned downcast with concern. It was the face of pity; the face of loss. Keith doesn't know how many times he has seen that face but he knows it shouldn't be as often as it is. 

Shiro sits cross legged in front of him and moves Keith's hair out of his face. Keith doesn't have the energy to protest or even to swat his hand away. It wasn't until Shiro grabs his shoulder and brings into a tight embrace does it all become too much. Keith breaks down and screams as tears fall. He grasps onto Shiro's shirt and refuses to release it. He sobs into his brother's chest, wetting it with tears that had built up for too long. 

He sniffed and wailed but nothing could give him back what he needed. Shiro held him tighter but nothing could piece him back together. Keith was the shell of a man that had vanished the moment his world was taken from him. Keith heaved as his breathing became erratic. That only caused Keith to cry harder and further making the situation worse.

Pala-God, he missed him. He missed the sly smile Lance would give to him when no one else was around. The way his lips were always soft and sweet. The way his laugh was more contagious than the Black Plague. How he was so good with children and would have been the best space uncle in the galaxy. How he loved the feeling of sand between his toes and collecting sea shells. How when they visited Earth he had instantly intoduced Keith and told his mom he found his soulmate while saving the universe. How he joked with Krolia, had food fights with Hunk, deviced plans of attack with Shiro, made sure Pidge always went to bed, would volunteer to braid Allura's hair, did little errands for Coran without complaint, but most of all was how he put everyone else before himself. 

 

Keith loved him fiercely. That Cuban was his one and only. Lance was everything he ever dreamed of and more. Lance was caring, considerate, a goofball, flirty, charismatic, intelligent, kind, brash and sometimes reckless. Lance was the type of person few would ever be. Most people couldn't become even half the person Lance was. 

 

Lance always said he was going to go out with a bang. The irony of it all fueled Keith with anger. Towards what it was aimed he wasn't sure. All he knew was that he wanted to scream until his vocal chords bled for the man he loved with the truest of hearts.

Lance died saving an alien child while under a Galra attack. He dashed through the frenzied streets and picked up the young girl with tears streaming down her face. He located a hiding place and stowed her away but not before his right shoulder being injuried. That injury caused him to be slow in reaction time with his bayard. 

He was shot 3 times and bled to death on the street of a planet Keith can't seem to recall. All he can see is that stupid smile of his as he told Keith to keep fighting for him. The blood stained his shoes and gloves but Keith couldn't care at that point. The screams of the people still echoed along the street where his fallen blue boy lay. In the end Keith had killed a total of 40 Galras before he collapsed with his heavy heart. It ended blaring; loud, obnoxious, and left his chest still feeling the rumble of the Galra soldiers' feet pounding against the ground. 

 

Keith wished he had never been accepted into the Garrison. Had he turned around the day Shiro came back instead of following through with his plan maybe then he wouldn't be broken. Maybe then he wouldn't be suffering. Maybe then Lance would stil be alive. 

Maybe then Shiro wouldn't be constantly worried about him. Shiro still didn't let go of Keith. He hugged him but it didn't feel right, no hug would ever feel right again. Lance had the best hugs in the universe. He would be considered a human teddy bear back home. He would give anything for Lance to be here right now, hugging him and whispering him promises of a bright, happy tomorrow. But he never would again. 

Keith cried himself into exhaustion and passed out in his adoptive brother's arms. He swore before the the darkness encompassed him he heard a soft voice telling him that he loved him. Keith blocked it out. He didn't need to believe Lance was still with him. The memories haunted him enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm evil and I know it. If I killed you I'm sorry but not as sorry as I probably should be. Hope you enjoyed my first fic even if it did bring you great despair.


End file.
